Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Rainy Wednesday

Rain crisscrosses my six foot window, determined to stick until sunshine comes and evaporates it away. The swirling clouds pass by the window as if they have joined in the hurried commute to work. Each raindrop fuels them along.

I bought black rain boots for this exact occasion, but instead of dominating puddles they lay in a box, snoring in the back of the closet. No big deal, I tell myself, it's just another pair of suede shoes I've watermarked.

Once upon a time I had an umbrella. It was my shield, my protector, my friend. It was a happy, playful thing, but continually forgot to tell me we were in the middle of a game. Alas, its last game was hide and seek in the trunk of a rental car. Oh, negligent friend that I am, I lost my long time protector. I miss its strength in the face of fierce opposition. It was unfailing until I failed it.

For now I'm safe from the rain, hidden behind this sheet of glass, but eventually it will be time to go and the rain will crisscross my hair, face, legs, and toes.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Thursday, April 01, 2010

I Heart Mini NYC

It's official. I am completely in love with this video by photographer, Sam O'Hare. It makes me look at this city in a new way and burst with joy that I get to experience it every day. I love how it makes me want to do something creative and awesome and share it with the world. Also, it makes me really excited for Spring.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Two Weeks

Three and a half years ago I sat on a hallway floor with mid-morning sunlight streaming through a rain-stained window. I was mere months away from graduation, but miles away from anything resembling a post-college life plan. For all of my controlling tendencies, I had somehow forgotten to plan every aspect of my future.

I was absolutely terrified to graduate. School had been my constant companion for so long. I knew when to fight it, when to make up; I was too familiar with the buttons it could push, but I also knew how it motivated me to be better and how, like a little seed planted in my fertile mind, it pushed upward and outward until I was sprouting and flourishing. What assurance did I have I could build that kind of relationship with my career? I doubted I could, but everything inside of me said I couldn't stay.

So there I sat on a carpeted floor with the sun shining on my toes, talking to my sister about my future. I told her I had a potential opportunity for an internship in New York, but the idea of being so far away from anything familiar was too much. I also knew pursuing it would likely lead to committing the next five years to that distant city. Otherwise I would deem myself a failure, just another person who couldn't hack it in the city.

She (and others) encouraged me and just a few short months later, with incredible trepidation, I packed my bags and moved into a city where in the masses of people, I had only one acquaintance. I started my internship which developed into a job and before I knew it three years passed. See, I told myself, I can succeed in this city.

But, let's be honest, I was lying. The taste of the initial success of being hired had become flat. I had never really interviewed for a job in New York; there was no guarantee I could get hired at another agency. I was playing it safe in a city that demands change.

Determined to King Kong every fear and challenge this city could throw at me, I began taking baby steps to seduce action. I updated my resume. I met with a recruiter. I began interviewing at agencies all over the city. I got a job offer.

And today I gave my two weeks notice.

In so many ways I feel exactly like I did three and a half years ago. I might have more of a glimpse of my future, but I am still venturing off the current lit path into unknown territory and there is no way to see where it will lead. I am nervous and anxious and a little terrified. But just like then, everything inside of me says it's time for this change.

So bring it on, New York. Bring it on, Life. I refuse to let fear be my guide.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Hidden Words in Black Ink

One night I was hanging out with my very creative friend, Gaby. She had just discovered this website full of newspaper blackout poetry by a guy named Austin Kleon. She was really excited to try it out. Turns out I was really excited too and promptly started doing them. All the time.
I love how I can take someone's thoughts and somehow make them mine, how I can find poetry in the midst of a hundred other words. I like how I can somehow express myself despite the limitations.

Here are three I've done.

Hope for the Future


Some Lovers

Check out Austin's site. Then check out Gaby's blackout poems! And then you should try it out and let me see the results. :)